This is the post where I usually reflect (dwell) on the past year, and look forward to (pretend I have a plan for) the coming one.
I normally make and share some resolutions, which always seem to be the same. I make a list of vague goals such as: work smarter, eat better, read a bunch, travel more, make time for life, grow up, figure it out. I also list more specific goals, like: earn £XX,XXX, sign a new book deal, wear underpants every single day…
But the one thing I learn every year is that a year will never turn out as I imagine — although it also kind of will.
I have the same realisation when I look back at the end of each year. So many things that happen in a year are things that I’d never even considered could or would happen. Here’s a few of those things that have happened in the last few years:
- First book deal with Penguin
- Hosted an event in New York
- Went to Texas
- Became an uncle
- Signed to a literary agent
- Finally visited a doctor about depression
- Started using the world “girlfriend”
- Ate squid, didn't hate it
- Am still living in Rugeley, Staffordshire
So this year I’m not going to share my resolutions, mainly because I’m not sure if I’ll actually make (m)any. It’s not that I don’t believe in setting goals these days, because I do. But at the end of each year I tend to look back on those initial resolutions with a sense of failure, despite all the great things I achieve.
Unexpected events push back the goals I made on January 1st, and I often find myself ignoring goals along the way as I end up on a different path. Ending the year on a different path is no bad thing, but it’s made me realise the value of the present moment, and being more fluid. Actually, the one resolution I will share this year is that I want to “be more present” — to stop dwelling on the past and stressing about the future. Which is something I’ve already started.
I know that this year will be full of ups and downs, like every other year. I know that I’ll achieve some of the things I want to, and I won’t achieve others. I also know that a lot of things will happen in the next 12 months that I can’t even imagine right now. So I’m going to concentrate on this moment, right here, and trust that life will keep moving forward regardless.
I’m also going to eat more greens.